Goodbye Bob

Today’s post is about two of our special people whom we have been privileged to work with and get to know over the past decade.

Bob was in his 70’s and had been battling Parkinson’s Disease for over 20 years when he came to us accompanied by his partner Jane back in 2002 and this story is as much about Jane as it is about Bob.

Parkinson’s is a terrible, insidious disease that severely challenges its sufferers and their loved ones in so many ways.  It is a progressive, non curable and frightening disease and reduces strong, active, healthy individuals to require around the clock care.  The nervous system is attacked and gradually compromised and is characterised by involuntarily shaking, ‘freezes’ (where the individual literally freezes in mid action) and hallucinations, often like ‘night terrors’.  The drug regime for Parkinson’s is often a cocktail and its side effects can be brutal.

Bob went through all this beginning over twenty years ago when he was in his 50’s.  With him every step of the way, by his side and always positive and loving, was Jane.  Right from the outset it was evident that Bob and Jane had a very special relationship.  I’m reminded of Forrest Gump when he talks about his relationship with the love of his life Jenny as going together like ‘peas and carrots’.  Bob and Jane were ‘peas and carrots’ too.

Nearly every Friday morning Bob would arrive with Jane for his session with me at the Heartwell Foundation.  Sometimes when Bob was having a bad day, it might take 10 minutes to get from their car to our office door even though they were parked less than 10 metres away.  Sometimes it might take a couple of minutes for Bob to be able to activate the right muscles to walk Through Our Door if he was in a freeze.  Jane would hold Bob like they were about to waltz and would start to sing an old favourite that helped him move forward.

On a good day, Bob’s program was simple; some treadmill, stationery bicycle, arm crank and stretching.  Sometimes it was stretching only on the mat and Bob would fall asleep within minutes.  Sleep was also the victim of Parkinson’s, not only for Bob but also for Jane who kept constant vigil on a nightly basis, checking vitals and drug levels and was there to comfort Bob when the nightmares came or when he tried to sleep walk.

Every session would involve stretching and here Bob could finally let his frantic muscles relax and drift off.  Jane loved to exercise and she would be working hard on the equipment, enjoying the freedom and brief time to herself in an otherwise uncompromising schedule of self sacrifice to Bob.

We talked footy, (Jane and I mad Bombers, Bob the arch enemy as a life long ‘Blue Boy’) politics, current affairs, movies and music.  As is so often the situation in our work I became very attached to Bob and Jane.  They began to feel like family.  They lent their support to me on the passing of my mother 5 years ago.  They took a special interest in our children and their achievements.  They even gave magnificent gardening advice.  Every Friday session would finish the same.  Bob on the mat, with Jane leaning over, kissing his cheek and saying “Bob darling, time to wake up”.  More than once I had to blink away a tear as I witnessed how much love Bob and Jane had.

Parkinson’s is relentless and last week Bob passed away with Jane and his family right there.  In all the time we spent together, never once did I see Bob complain, never once did I see Jane as anything other than positive. Like ‘peas and carrots’ every Friday up until recently, it was Bob and Jane and I genuinely loved our time together.

Like so many of the Heartwell family, Bob’s photo hangs in the gym, overseeing all that is going on and we will miss him and always remember him with affection.

Vale Bob Jones.  Viva Jane!  

(Today written by Scott Taylor)